Hi all!! Here we are again, in the beginning of another deployment. I tell myself, in the beginning of each one, that I am going to blog throughout, and each time get busy with life and I don’t do it. But I am REALLY going to try this time 🙂
Each deployment and each family have their own special challenges. I have my own thoughts and my own way of dealing with ours. Unfortunately, this is our 4th deployment in a year and a half. Between 2 deployments and multiple week long TDYs, Brian will have been gone for about 8 months of 2011. Of course I’m not “happy” about this, but I still feel very lucky that his deployments are relatively short, in the whole scheme of military deployments … they are not 6 months or a year (or more) at a time. Of course I miss my best friend, my teammate, my personal chef, but I stay busy. It’s harder on the kids, by far. But I firmly believe that our kids are only as strong as their parent’s are. I hear “I miss Daddy” many times a day, and that tugs at the heart strings, but it is not reason to not do things … to not do homework and let grades fall, and mostly to not take naps or go to bed on time at night. A very good friend of mine dealt with losing her husband and the sadness and missing Daddy with her children, and I’ve dealt with the kids missing dad with some advice of hers. During the daytime, we can talk about missing Daddy as much as we want, but we try as much as possible to not discuss it at bedtime when everyone is tired and more emotional.
There have been emails/notes/blogs that have circulated about “things not to say to someone who has a deployed spouse”, and mostly I think that the one’s that I’ve seen have been pretty bitchy, and make it out to be like you should be on egg shells with a spouse. I don’t think so. Of course we hear ALL THE TIME “I don’t know how you do it” … I do it because I love my husband, he’s worth it, and I knew what I was getting into. I knew, before having children with him, that there would be plenty of times that I would be single parenting (again). I don’t resent him or fault him for this, I did not go into this marriage or lifestyle blind, and I think we have very strong, resilient children for it. Tyler knows how to jump right in to his 5th school in 6 years by joining teams and clubs, the girls can walk into a new classroom or group and not feel too shy or out of place to have a great time. They don’t necessarily get this from me, I’m pretty shy until I get to know you, but I will be their strongest supporter and cheerleader as they take on each new adventure, because I know they can do it.
So, I’m sure I’ll have other things to talk about in the next months. Maybe some venting and bitching, but mostly I’ll still be thankful for all we have. If you have any questions or comments for me, feel free, fire away. I’m really going to try to do my best at actually blogging this experience.
Much love to you all,