One Happy Family

Living life, military style!!

Day 3, I’m really on a roll here! September 30, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — theluces @ 2:38 pm

Can y’all believe it?! THREE whole days in a row, only 18 to go till it’s a habit 🙂

So, my next item on the What not to say to a Military Spouse list, that is actually relevant or I’ve actually heard it: Will he be home for Christmas/holidays/birthdays/anniversary/etc?

NO. They don’t just get to come home for events. We are fortunately part of a squadron that our deployments are shorter and a child’s birth is never missed (now that I say never, some lil one will decide to make his/her entrance surprisingly early and make me a liar), but that doesn’t mean any of these other days are worked around. Again, perspective. I know that firsts (birthdays, Christmases, etc) are very sentimental, and that is a tough thing to miss. BUT the beauty of it is that they are so little, that they have no idea, and you can work around it. You have your Christmas early or late, you celebrate a birthday when your spouse gets home. We were so lucky that Brian got home from his last deployment ON Emma’s 4th birthday, Daddy for a present!! But in all honesty, unless a kid’s birthday falls ON the weekend, when do we really celebrate their birthday (meaning their party) ON THEIR BIRTHDAY?! It’s ok, all they really care about is that they get a party and some presents and they really don’t care the exact date. You learn to roll with it.

I won’t lie, Christmas this year may suck. It will suck for multiple reasons though. I am sad that Brian won’t be here for it, but that just adds to the sucky-ness of the day for me. Christmas has not felt like Christmas for me in 7 years. After 29 years of a white Christmas, surrounded by most of my mom’s (large) family, it’s just not the same. I love watching my kids open their presents, but I miss the house being full of family of all ages, playing dice or cards, eating way too much food … all of it. Of course spring, fall, and winter in Florida = great weather, but it’s not Christmas weather. That’s enough of my pity party, I just love (ND) home at Christmas time 🙂

Ok, I better get the mutts walked before they drive me nuts and get dinner in the crock pot (hopefully the Ranch Bacon Chicken will be a hit). Love to you all!! ~ Jackie

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Some baby love September 29, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — theluces @ 5:51 pm

This morning I took a small road trip and went to spend some time with my sweet friend Amanda and her handsome lil guy Brody. Emma had a “field trip” to the Science Center and really wanted to go with her friend. So big, spreading her wings … don’t let the door hit ya Mom!! It was great to have a little girl time. While my 3 1/2 hours that I have to myself each morning go VERY quickly, and I am very grateful for them, it quickly becomes groundhogs day when Brian is gone (hence REALLY wanting to find a job). It really makes me wonder what I would do with my time next year when all the kids are in school all day … I’d go crazy(er).

I’ve been thinking more about some of the Top 10 Lists of What NOT to say to a Military Wife. As I said, yesterday, I find the lists to be quite bitchy and I *think* they are intended, for the most part, to be humorous, but I don’t really find them to be all that funny. And, reading the comments after the list can get to be quite heated, but I see one comment (in the comment section) more than any others: “Ok, then what SHOULD we say to a military spouse?”

I’m not quite sure on that one either. People comment that they just like to hear people’s thanks. As in “Tell your husband (or wife) thank you for serving our country.” I think that is nice. Some people like to hear that their spouse and family is in their prayers (personally, I think that is nice, but I’m not a pray-er … that’s a whole separate topic).

One thing that I haven’t seen on the lists is “Let me know if you need anything!”. This doesn’t apply to just us military spouses. This applies to life in general. This applies to just having a baby, just having had surgery, just having some big event good or bad, happen in your life. How many times have we all said that and how many time has the person we’ve told that to called us and let us know that they need something? Probably never. Because we generally don’t call and ask for things. If you are friends with a military spouse who’s husband is deployed, or a friend just had a baby … anything along these lines, don’t wait for a phone call, for gosh sakes DO SOMETHING!! Just call them and let them know you have made dinner and are wondering what time is best for you to drop it off. Call and ask if you can take their children for a play date for a few hours. Bring over a cup of coffee or tea and have a little girl time.

If you live far away, set up a phone date for after all the kids are in bed, for the two of you to catch up without interruptions. We do a lot of talking to people under 4 feet tall, talking to a grown up is GREAT 🙂 Or send a card, letting them know you are thinking of them.

Well, I need to get Emma’s lunch finished up. I hope you are all having a wonderful day!

Till tomorrow ~ Jackie

 

 

Here we go again … September 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — theluces @ 1:34 pm

Hi all!! Here we are again, in the beginning of another deployment. I tell myself, in the beginning of each one, that I am going to blog throughout, and each time get busy with life and I don’t do it. But I am REALLY going to try this time 🙂

Each deployment and each family have their own special challenges. I have my own thoughts and my own way of dealing with ours. Unfortunately, this is our 4th deployment in a year and a half. Between 2 deployments and multiple week long TDYs, Brian will have been gone for about 8 months of 2011. Of course I’m not “happy” about this, but I still feel very lucky that his deployments are relatively short, in the whole scheme of military deployments … they are not 6 months or a year (or more) at a time. Of course I miss my best friend, my teammate, my personal chef, but I stay busy. It’s harder on the kids, by far. But I firmly believe that our kids are only as strong as their parent’s are. I hear “I miss Daddy” many times a day, and that tugs at the heart strings, but it is not reason to not do things … to not do homework and let grades fall, and mostly to not take naps or go to bed on time at night. A very good friend of mine dealt with losing her husband and the sadness and missing Daddy with her children, and I’ve dealt with the kids missing dad with some advice of hers. During the daytime, we can talk about missing Daddy as much as we want, but we try as much as possible to not discuss it at bedtime when everyone is tired and more emotional.

There have been emails/notes/blogs that have circulated about “things not to say to someone who has a deployed spouse”, and mostly I think that the one’s that I’ve seen have been pretty bitchy, and make it out to be like you should be on egg shells with a spouse. I don’t think so. Of course we hear ALL THE TIME “I don’t know how you do it” … I do it because I love my husband, he’s worth it, and I knew what I was getting into. I knew, before having children with him, that there would be plenty of times that I would be single parenting (again). I don’t resent him or fault him for this, I did not go into this marriage or lifestyle blind, and I think we have very strong, resilient children for it. Tyler knows how to jump right in to his 5th school in 6 years by joining teams and clubs, the girls can walk into a new classroom or group and not feel too shy or out of place to have a great time. They don’t necessarily get this from me, I’m pretty shy until I get to know you, but I will be their strongest supporter and cheerleader as they take on each new adventure, because I know they can do it.

So, I’m sure I’ll have other things to talk about in the next months. Maybe some venting and bitching, but mostly I’ll still be thankful for all we have. If you have any questions or comments for me, feel free, fire away. I’m really going to try to do my best at actually blogging this experience.

Much love to you all,

Jackie